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On May 29th, 2011 I got slutty for a cause.
See my post about Slut Walk here: http://fitvillains.tumblr.com/post/5986795214/slut-walk-montreal-a-modest-protest-against
Get informed. Check your assumptions. When women attack other women for ‘getting raped’, it makes my skin crawl. Crawl. And makes me nauseous.
Things like…
- Well she shouldn’t have been out on that street so late. Unless there was ‘rapists on the loose’ signs everywhere, it wasn’t her fault. No one should assume they are going to be raped when they WALK their own neighborhood. Because rape is a crime. Walking is a means of transportation.
- Well, she shouldn’t have been at a party and been that drunk. Being drunk? Also, not asking to be raped. A man who would take advantage of a drunk woman deserves to be punished, not excused. And there is a difference between regretting a one night stand with someone you probably shouldn’t have slept with, and being so drunk that you couldn’t give consent in the first place.
- Well, she’s a slut, so I don’t believe her. She was probably asking for it. Sluts say yes. Victims said no. If she says she was raped, chances are she was raped. Cases of false reports are incredibly rare. Cases of no reports? The norm. Most women would rather not admit or pursue their rapist because of judgments like these: making it easier for YOU and YOU and YOU to be raped by the same man. The man who thinks it’s okay. Because he’s gotten away with it before.
We have to be safe. We have to take precautions. But NOTHING excuses the behavior of someone who would take advantage of ANY situation to insert his penis in your vagina or mouth or anus, touch you, pin you down, against your will, thrust himself inside you, make you feel dirty, terrify you, leave you with nightmares, scar you, give you STI’s, and make it harder for you to look everyone in the eye. Rape victims don’t ever fully rid themselves of that feeling, and few get justice for the event that changed them; not for the better.
A yes is a yes. It is loud & clear. Without that ‘YES’, assume the answer is no. Oh, and skirts can’t talk. Just so you know. Neither can makeup, reputations, or drunken girls. Unless you get an emphatic YES, the answer is No.
I’ve never been raped, but I’ve spoken with victims through group counseling & volunteer work in Montreal. And aside from the rape itself, one recurring theme is that they all seem to feel that the worst victimization is done afterwards… mostly by other women. Check yourself.
